My problem with this challenge is that if I do a full write up on here, then it becomes increasingly likely that the somebody I bought the something nice for will know who sent it; ruining the challenge. Therefore, I have no choice but to resort to the cunning use of pseudonyms, double-speak and vagaries to protect my identity. I don’t necessarily need to give myself a code name, but for the purposes of this challenge, if you could hum the James Bond theme whilst reading this, I’d be grateful. Actually to hell with it, code names are cool, I think I need a rugged pseudonym that suggests I would fit easily into a Tom Clancy novel, I would therefore appreciate it if you would call me Mike Ruin; rugged huh?
I obviously can’t confirm too much informationhere, who knows who’s listening, but I’ll try to explain as best as I can. What I divulge is that some time in the past at an inspecific location I bought something nice for somebody from eBay. To throw off electronic tracing devices, I watched Goldeneye before using eBay and bought the item in question on an eBay application on my mobile whilst standing next to a working washing machine. Whilst this may not have helped, I figured that it would not harm.
The item in question went directly to person in question’s address and was deemed to be a well thought out present specifically chosen with the receiver in mind. It cost a reasonable but unspecific amount but I can confirm it cost less than £20 but more than £10. I might believe I got a bargain, but I cannot verify that.
My network of informants tell me that the item arrived recently as I had contact from the recipient accusing me of sending it. Naturally I avowed all knowledge of the parcel, however I’m not sure how much I was believed; which is a shame as I’m sure that I was particularly convincing. I briefly considered that my cover was blown but could not find cyanide tablets on eBay, so had limited options.
I am told that the recipient was very pleased with the gift and whilst I am suspected of sending it, the recipient has no proof that it came from me and I believe I’ve got away with it.
The mission was a success!
I can report a warm feeling from achieving this challenge and whilst I cannot confirm that it is better to give that to receive, it is rather nice to give.
Way back in 2006 I went to watch the lovely Gemma, the one person on the planet who is lumbered with the title of “my best friend”, perform in a play in Wales. As a friend of the cast, I found myself at the theatre a good three hours before the curtain with nothing to do other than drink coffee in the commissary whilst those around me beavered away in furious Thespian activity.
It was in the commissary that I met Les. Les was the grandfather of one of the players, and like me, had been shoved out of the way in a coffee themed corner whilst the cast and crew got on with the real business of having dreadful realisations about what vital piece of costume or equipment they had forgotten to bring with them. As we were the only people in the eatery we ended up chatting and for a few hours sat together drinking coffee, eating cake and talking about everything and nothing.
I was utterly enthralled by Les. Sharp as a tack, funny and engaging; he has a well thought out and interesting opinion on any topic you could name. We talked about life, politics, history, religion, sport and everything in between swapping tales of tragedy and woe, excitement and glory as the play was formed around us.
I have to admit, despite enjoying the play, the highlight of the evening for me was sitting chatting to Les and discussing all of the finer things that life had to offer. It was in those few hours Les convinced me to do the Manchester Run as Les had done it the previous year and finishing in an amazing 47 minutes. Positive that I had found a friend, I agreed to join him in the 2006 run and vowed to let him know my running number so that we could start the race together. I had no illusions that Les would finish before me, but I promised him that I would do my best to make it around the course in as close to 47 minutes as I couple possibly make it.
Les passed away three days after I met him and despite only meeting him less than a week before, I attended the funeral of this quite remarkable man and was truly saddened by his passing.
I did the Manchester Run on the 21st of May 2006, finishing in 58 minutes (just in front of a guy dressed in a Scooby-Doo costume), despite pushing myself to my limits, I simply could not make it round in a time that Les would be proud of and therefore vowed to try again. Sadly I moved away from Manchester a few months later but was back in Manchester by 2010 and fillt intended to make it round the course in less than 50 minutes. I had no illusion that I would not be able to beat Les, but 50 minutes seemed achievable. It was not. I managed the course in 53 minutes 19 second. I tried again in 2011 I managed to finish the course in 55 minutes 42 seconds, worse that I managed in 2010. I had booked to run the 2012 race and was once again aiming to finish the run in less than 47 minutes. However this year the 2012 race is on the same weekend as the second Victoriana Event. So I’m looking for another 10km race I can do, hopefully with a guy running who’s dressed like Scooby-Doo.
Number 82 is a bit of a difficult one. It pretty much lies in the hands of fate. What if I don’t manage to break my ankle? I decided the only thing to do was to hope for the best and if I didn’t actually break my ankle, at least I could give it a good try.
Originally I decided to do this in 2010, and had every intention of climbing the hills the beautiful Gloucestershire with the aim of throwing myself off of one.
Sadly that was not to be, despite cheese Rolling having a history in Gloucestershire dating back to at least the 1800s, health and safety concerns saw the 2010 and then the 2011 events cancelled, creating local and even international uproar from fans of the local tradition. It’s back on for 2012, so if any of you feel brave enough to quite possibly do something stupid, drop me a line. I should probably let you know what you’re in for though, apparently 1 in 3 people need medical attention when taking part. Here’s a video of the 2009 event:
In the past few years, I have been significantly more publicly naked than I usually am. In June 2010 I participated in the Naked Bike Ride around Manchester and in November that same year I organised the 2011 Tasteful Charity Calendar Shoot. I really enjoyed both events and would heartily recommend group nakedness as a cure all for the blues this winter. In fact, we enjoyed it so much we did it again for the 2012 Tasteful Charity Calendar shoot.
Challenge 245. The Tasteful Calendar
I’ve already been a nude model as part of the Calendar Shoot effectively and happily killing two birds with one stone. The chaps on Facebook agree (so it must be true) so please buy a calendar and do a bit for charity at the same time as laughing at us dressed in naught but a smile and hiding our dignity behind ludicrous props.
I am of course always happy to do more nudity if people want to use me as a model, just drop a comment below. However, until then:
I was a little worried about this one, if you search on the google for “Mikey Popping Candy Death” you get over a half a million hits, the first page of which details the tale of “Little Mikey” who ingested six packets of Pop-rocks and washed it down with Pepsi, causing a swelling of his stomach, causing it to rupture and for “Little Mikey” to die. Despite this being a completely false urban legend, it’s still concerning. Despite this dire warning, I went to Mr Simm’s Olde Sweet Shoppe and picked up 20 packets of Popping Candy. 10 Cherry and 10 Cola. Sadly before I managed to film the challenge, I bumped into an old friend and lost a packet of Cherry popping candy to her. What can I say, I’m a sucker for a pretty face and we all know the girls love novelty sugar. Anyway, this left me with 19 packets, which was fine, as Little Mikey apparently died after only eating six. I’d probably have enough. So I travelled round to my friend Nikki’s house to undertake the challenge. Nikki’s was an excellent choice for an assistant as she’s medically trained enough to laugh at me when I made silly noises, yet grown up enough to ring my mother if I exploded in her living room. I was in good hands.
As any good house guest, I took with me a bottle of wine and this was for two reasons, firstly – a gentleman should always bring a gift when he visits and secondly – maybe a glass of wine would numb my throat for the antics to come. Once the wine had been drunk, we filled the below video, enjoy:
That was horrid. Absolutely horrid. The popping candy quickly turns into a sludgy chemical reaction in your mouth, kind of like electric custard, but not as appetising. It actually caused a bit of pain, mostly unpleasantness, but definably some pain as the popping candy reacted madly with the moisture in my mouth. I think we did pretty well, certainly passing urban legend Little Mikey’s total of six. I wisely did not try and drink any fizzy drinks for the remainder of the day as fate loves irony and felt remarkably bloated for the next two days. For some reason.
Anyway, that’s how much popping candy I can eat at once. Impressive huh? Don’t try that at home kids, really. It’s horrid
Not the easiest post to make as I initially considered it whilst trying to complete challenge 87 where I attempted to give up booze for a month. Despite not being a big drinker, the fact that no alcohol could pass my lips for the entire month could very likely put the idea of a crisp, cool, refreshing pint into the fore-front of my subconscious
For those of you who don’t know, the Ringwood Brewery has been a producer of most delightful ales since 1978. The Hampshire based company currently brews seven beers: Best Bitter, Forty-niner and Old Thumper , Bold Forester Spring Ale, Huffkin Autumn Ale, Boondoggle Summer Ale and XXXX Porter Winter Ale. Of the seven ales available, the first three are available all year round where as the last four are seasonal and available in the corresponding season.
Now then, seeing as four of the seven are seasonal, by my reckoning I need to drink only four ales as only four are being produced at any one time. I wish it was different, but that was what the challenge says. Who am I to take liberties with the wording of challenges? Who am I indeed? I’m sure I can manage it. All I needed do is find myself a pub that stocks Ringwood and I was sorted. The easiest way to do this is to contact the brewery themselves.
“Hello, (I wrote)
I am currently engaged in a quest! This New Years Eve, I left my new years resolutions up to the people at the party I was enjoying. With some amusement, they came up with 44 New Years resolutions for me to attempt. As oft happens, this turned into a Facebook group and quickly expanded to a massive 221 challenges (and counting).
If you wish you can see my hastily created website with all my challenges on at http://ruinmikeyslife.wordpress.com/ (one of the challenges was to give up Facebook for Lent and posted roughly an hour before Ash Wednesday so I had little time to up-sticks and move – I assure anybody who cares to listen that it will get better – but I digress).
Some of these challenges are very silly as you might imagine, however some of them sound quite enjoyable and one such challenge is to sample at least one of every beer you produce.
Now, I see from your website that you have an on-line shop, however my CAMRA enthusiastic friend insisted on the caveat that it should be in a pub.
Therefore, as I am based in the North West of England, I am writing to query if any more northerly pubs serve your ales? I see on your website that you have several pubs around Bournemouth, sadly none further north.
Best Wishes
Mikey Smith”
Fully expected my email disappear into Ringwood Breweries Spam filter and was especially surprised to receive a phone call from a man from Marston’s who suggests a load of pubs that do Ringwood’s as a Guest Ale. Sadly only a few pubs in the United Kingdom actually have Ringwood’s ales on tap and most of those are in our around the Bournemouth area, so my only other course of action is to find a Marston’s pub that’s having a beer festival and hope they’ve got all the Ringwood Ales available.
No mean feat, I’m keeping my eyes peeled for likely pubs and will let you know the progress.
Then it struck me, I didn’t actually need to drink the ales purchased from a pub! All I need to do is drink them all on a pub night; essentially all I needed to do is enjoy the Ringwood Ales whilst in a pub on an evening. With a little bit of slight of hand we could do this.
Of course this is not ideal. I still intended to drink the ales on tap, but in the meantime; I started collecting bottles with the intention of keeping them in the fridge.
Once again before we start, challenge 252 is a little bit too long to fit on the title, so I’m adding it here:
252. Before the start of 2012, produce a calendar for 2012. You may get whatever help you need from other’s, the calendar will be tastefully nude and themed around larp/fantasy/scifi/Steampunk and other geekery. The calendar must be on free sale to any who wish to buy it, and after costs are deducted proceeds can go to the charity of your choice.
This challenge was set only a few days after the 2011 calendar was released, sent in from a friend who had decided to get into shape in 2011 and thought that the challenge might motivate him into joining us in the photo-shoots later that year. As it happened that friend did not get involved in the 2012 calendar, but happily that did not stop us from taking the idea and running with it.
The concept for this year was geekery, which left us spoilt for choice for options. We had been given specific concepts that we had to use (larp, fantasy, scifi and Steampunk) and fully intended to have shots that included these concepts, however the addition of other geekery allowed us to take from a wide range of seemingly unrelated themes without too much worry about going outside the boundaries of the challenge. Definition time:
Geek (noun) A person with a devotion to something in a way that places him or her outside the mainstream. This could be due to the intensity, depth, or subject of their interest. This definition is very broad but because many of these interests have mainstream endorsement and acceptance, the inclusion of some genres as “geeky” is heavily debated. Persons have been labeled as or chosen to identify as physics geeks, mathematics geeks, engineering geeks, sci-fi geeks, computer geeks, various science geeks, movie and film geeks (cinephile), comic book geeks, theater geeks, history geeks, music geeks, sport geeks, art geeks, philosophy geeks, literature geeks, historical reenactment geeks, video game geeks, and roleplay geeks. (Definition from our old friend Wikipedia)
Essentially we had a licence to take pictures with whatever theme we fancied and we’d undoubtedly be able to call it “other geekery.”
Our First Photo-shoot - Dungeons and Dragons
Unsurprisingly our first photoshoot was filled with people that had been in the previous calendar; our only new model pulled out at the last minute. Despite this a great time was had by all as we spend at relaxing day snapping pictures of us in various geek poses. Unlike the previous calender where we had specific months to fill, I’d asked my models to bring along things that they though geeky and therefore we had a selection of roleplaying books, comics, dice, larp weapons and toys from various science fiction shows to play with. With the help of Rosie our photographer, we had snapped out half a dozen excellent shots by the end of the day.
Our models were the beautiful Vikki (who’s house we took the shots in), the muscular Craig, the devilishly charming Marcus and the rakishly handsome Andy.
Oh and me.
The day was wonderful, putting the photography aside, it was lovely to catch up with people some of whom who I had not seen in a months and by the end of the day, it was clear that our calendar was looking like it would be finished in plenty of time for distribution.
The second set of photographs was taken in London at the home of Tequila Mockingbird. You might have guessed that “Tequila Mockingbird” is not her real name, but when a person has such excellent on-line moniker you’d be a fool not to use it. Now I had never been to her house before; in fact whilst I had I’d met her a few years previously and we had got on famously, she lived over 200 miles away making the likelihood for popping round for a cup of sugar slim at best.
The Tequila Photo-shoot, minus our Model. You should buy a calendar
We took some fantastic shots of Tequila on a bed of comics and I promised to take some more shots for her for the 2013 calendar in 2012.
Our third shoot was with Mel. Now Mel I had been trying to convince to join us in a calendar shoot ever since the I was first challenged. Every bit as beautiful as any of the models that had appeared in the calendar, Mel had helped with a number of challenges for the website to date and used my house on numerous occasions as a staging ground for assaults on the commercial district of Manchester. The pictures we took of Mel were fantastic; we took them against green screen, which meant a sizeable amount of photoshopping ahead of me, but the parts of the picture that weren’t green showed excellent promise and we were well on our way to finishing the calendar.
Gemma, preparing for her shoot.
Gemma and Nikki were my forth shoot and we explored the Steampunk side of the challenge. I was really rather happy with the photos taken that day but learnt a valuable lesson about pacing. Our photoshoot lasted no more than 20 minutes and I was eager to get the photos done to ensure my models were not inconvenienced for an extended period of time. Chatting with Gemma later, we agreed that we should have taken our time and given her time to feel less self conscious at the prospect of having pictures taken whilst dis-robed. It was a valuable lesson and one I used in the next photoshoot for Rachel,
Sadly we didn’t get to use the Rachel shoot. That’s not to say that they were bad pictures; quite the contrary, the photographs were crisp and clear and the subject was beautiful and held an air of confidence. Tragically despite being crisp and clear, none of the photographs really worked as calender shots and I was forced to confine them to the unusable folder.
A gaggle of geeks holding vintage tech,
It was then I came upon a problem. I went reviewed my photographs and checked the number of usable pictures we had. We were still shy several months and it date was getting precariously close to 2012. In hope that we could turn things around I asked my Facebook friends for help. Thankfully they did not disappoint and by the end of the week we managed another photo-shoot, this time in the upstairs room of the locale geek shop. Brian the owner was an absolute gent, making us brews whilst Steve and Rebecca (who joined us in the 2011 calendar) took their clothes off with newcomers Gina, Si and Max. The shop made an excellent back drop and we managed get a number of rather good shots with vintage computers, nerf guns, lightsabres and (for some reason) a tiger themed onesy.
The next day found me at the abode of the newly married Adam and Lou camera in hand. Despite the vast scope of the “other geekery” I was getting to the point that I was running out of concepts to photograph. Fortunately Adam and Lou all manner of ideas and with an application of Rockband guitars, nerf guns and various objects of geekery we managed a couple of excellent pictures.
With enough months now under our figurative belts our final shoot of the year took is back to Mel’s house, where remarkably few photographs of her wearing nothing but a laptop and a pair of worrying sexy Argyll socks gave use our beautiful December picture.
With that photos were done and all that remained was the photoshopping. Our finished article can be found below. All profits from the calendars go to charity. In this case Guide Dogs from the Blind and Doctor’s Without Borders.
A very good question, but how to undertake research into it? How exactly do you find out if there’s any truth to the assertion that the driving of a train somehow has wibbly wobbly timey wimey connotations?
So naturally I emailed British Rail, explaining my problem and asking them if there is any truth to the rumour. If anybody has done any research into time travel and train use it will be them. It might even explain why fare keep increasing well above inflation. Maybe they’re doing top secret time travel research and hiding the costs in my monthly County Travel ticket. Even if not, there’s a chance I might be going over old scientific ground and if there’s one thing that a scientist really hates then it’s going over old research. Science is all about striving to set boundaries, to be exciting and the fresh. The goal of every scientist is to be on the cutting edge of their respective field and if British Rail have already done the research, then this could be a very easy challenge.
Apparently it takes 48 hours to respond to a customer’s email, so after the email was sent, I decided to do a bit of research myself.
For those of you who don’t know (and it’s before my time as well) the line “Time flies by when you’re the driver of a train, and you ride on the foot plate there and back again.” comes from the 1969 BBC children’s TV show “Chigley” which was the third and final instalment in Gordon Murray’s Trumptonshire trilogy. Rather like the Matrix, the third instalment was nowhere near as good as the first one and many people forget it was actually made. But it was made and for your pleasure and enjoyment I give you:
Amazing! No, not the song, although it is rather good. Amazingly it’s not been an hour and I’ve had a reply from the rail people. Sadly it’s not a good one.:
“Dear Mikey
Thank you for your email with regard your question.
National Rail Enquiries is an information based centre. I am afraid I would not be able to comment on your statement. I apologise if I may have disappointed you.
Thank you for contacting National Rail Enquiries. If you have any query regarding National Rail, please do not hesitate to get in touch.
Regards
Customer Relations
National Rail Enquiries”
Now is it just me or do they seem a little bit like they’re hiding something? Replying back in an hour? On a weekend? Seems a little suspicious to me! The website tells us it takes 48 hours for them to get back to us. Now I don’t know about you, but I suspect my email caused a panic in the National Rail Headquarters. People said things like “God Damn, they’re on to us” in dramatic American accents and insisted that people were woke up and told of the breach in security. Despite this not being America and it being the middle of the day. If you don’t hear from me again, they’ve got to me. You know the truth. We’re all in danger!
Anyway, until the discrete National Rail hit squad turn up to put a bullet in my brain, I best press on. No luck with the Rail people, best look at the Science. Does being the driver of a train change your perception of time? I seem to remember something about time slowing down the quicker you go, but I don’t think a 15 minute cartoon where the Animaniacs explain physics really makes me qualified to answer this question, so I turned to the scientist chaps I know, a good start is Doctor Marcus who is a teacher of teachers of Science and a very clever chap.
Doctor Marcus replied thusly:
“Indeed, the statement is true, but imperceptibly so unless the train is travelling at a significant fraction of the speed of light. “True” in the sense that time for the rest of the world will have advanced rather more than it has for you, so you’ll think your journey only lasted 2 hours, when according to the outside world it lasted for 2 hours and a tiny sliver of a second.
The unfortunate part of the truth, however, is that time dilation will be the same for the driver wherever he/she stands and, indeed, for everyone else on the train. In fact, if one of the passengers spends the journey sprinting up and down the carriages, time will go even faster for him/her.”
So there you go – Time DOES fly by when you’re the driver of a train, and you ride on the foot plate there and back again, however it travels no faster than all of the other people standing on the train and only the unfortunate chap with the very tiny bladder who keeps having to brave the train toilets is experiencing time quicker.
Even though, despite not being shot by British Rail goons, I’m pretty sure they are hiding something.
The challenge is this: below, there’s a list of 100 words. You’re free to interpret them as you wish – then, just take a photo for each one and post it. Photos must be taken specifically for the challenge, but they don’t need to be done in order. I’m going add them here as I take them.
In June of 2010 we (myself, my housemate Happy and our athletic friend James) cycled to the highest pub in Britain in aid of Barnados for which we raised £210. Our planned trip was 75 miles and involved cycling up (and sometimes, but not often down) some monumentally steep and precipitous inclines. It turned out, due to a few errors in map reading we cycled more than 100 miles, but it was still one of the best things we’d ever done. I wrote about it on this blog, it was one of the challenges and the blog as how we went on, click on the list and feel free to look for it.
Seeing as we really enjoyed the first trip, Happy and I decided to set off on another cycling adventure in March of 2011. This time, rather than take James with us (who frankly made us look bad with his stamina and ability) and took Nikki with us instead. Nikki is both lithe and athletic, but happily had a bike that was made out of lead, so we assumed that the playing field might be a tad more level.
Settling off from Bolton
Coincidentally this route is once again 75 miles and had considerably less chance of us cycle off the beaten path as we had to follow a single road. The A58 from Prescot, Merseyside to Wetherby, West Yorkshire, if we got lost then we were idiots. Frankly.
This time we’re supporting the Alzheimer’s Society and hoped to equal our efforts cycling to the highest pub.
We set off as it got light and cycled to the train station from my house. I don’t live in Prescot, so we had to travel a fair distance before we even travelled our first official mile. The train journey took about an hour and after a short ride from Prescot Train station we were off. The going was good. Those of you who recall our previous efforts, will recall that getting out of Bolton on a bike is heavy work. Bolton is in a valley and which ever way you go, to escape it, you need to cycle uphill. Prescott was nothing like that and after the first hour, we’d made it nearly 10 miles without so much of a hitch.
After the first hour, things were going well.
The roads were still relatively quiet and we enjoyed the open stretch of road as it wound back towards Bolton. Yes, that’s right, to get to the other end of the A58, we had to travel back the way we came to Bolton and beyond. I recalled the hills on the way out of the town with dread and hoped that by that time, we would be enough into our stride not to have the same problems we had trying to escape it on the way to the highest pub in Britain.
Prescott to Bolton was generally rather easy, we got into Bolton after two hours and twenty minutes and my little navigation computer told me we’d travelled 22.8 miles. We were now less than a mile from where we’d set off and already we were flagging, but we pressed on regardless, pushing ourselves up and out of Bolton, with the understanding that a breakfast would be waiting for us in Bury.
That was the deal. If we got to Bury, we’d stop for some breakfast and a cup of coffee. I needed to keep up my end of the bargain but secretly, I really needed that cuppa. It drove me on and before long we were approaching Bury.
Bury is confusing and it’s roads are both unlabelled and wide. We got lost a couple of times before figuring out where the A58 had gone and set off towards Rochdale.
The glorious sunshine
It had started to rain as we left Bury but frankly it was a welcome change. The morning had turned out gloriously and the rain, whilst cold, was refreshing, the rain held off as we cycled up toward Rochdale and I have to admit being surprised by the glorious countryside that confronted us. But before we considered tackling the climb towards the pennies, I first had to honour a deal I’d stuck as we left Bury.
We made it out towards Asda a supermarket that boasts (amongst other things) somewhere to get breakfast and a cup of coffee. With the bikes locked, we ordered breakfast. I had kept up my end of the bargain, but Nikki had let us down by ordering a cup of tea rather than a cup of coffee. I felt betrayed. How would I trust her on our epic journey across the Pennines if she makes deals about coffee and then get a cup of tea instead. Happy told me I was making too big a thing of it and I’ll admit, he was completely correct, I stopped trying to add drama to our morning and after a much needed toilet break, we set off towards the countryside.
We passed village after village and as we approached the 4th hour of our cycle, we approached Rochdale. The last 10 miles had taken an hour and a half due to the incline we were travelling, but that was nothing compared to the hills we were to expect crossing the Pennines.
We passed through Rochdale easily enough, it was nowhere near as dangerous and confusing as Bury and starting the soft incline into the hills. It was getting towards lunch time as we left the houses behind us and we were getting hungry. We’d been travelling now since 6am and have lasted thus far on a small breakfast and a cup of unspecific hot beverage in a supermarket café . We needed something to keep us going.
As we reached Littleborough we started looking around for a pub to feed our increasing hunger. As we reached the otherside of the village we spotted a pub at the base of the Pennines. The Moorcock Inn. It looked nice enough and as I spied the expanse of hills before us, Happy and Nikki went inside to consider our options.
I made a video whilst I waited. I’m going to have to apologise for the windy sound quality. It was windy and there was nothing I could do about it. As you might have guessed from my dulcet tones we did not stop at the Moorcock Inn for Lunch. To do so would have been insane. The hill before us was amazingly steep and we would not have enjoyed out meal looking at it in all it’s horrific picturesqueness. We set off up the road, following the path by the side of the road as a safer alternative to sharing the road with the insane drivers who shot past us as we cycled.
By the side of the A58 enjoying chocolate instead of a nice pub lunch
We made it to the top after what seemed like an age. The hill already looked like a monumental climb, but what we had not realised is that the winding nature of the road had made what was probably a mile as the crow flies into a 3 mile slog up hill. We were tired, we were hungry and we were hoping that the large white building at the top of the hill was a pub.
The White House. Was not serving food. Bastards.
It was! We cycled up to The White House relieved that we had made it, only to be dismayed that the bloody place had stopped serving food and would not serve food again until dinner time! Dismayed we ate the last of the packet of Mars Bars I had brought with me and took heart to see that the road had flatted off and actually looked like it might lead downhill for once. We pressed on, but not before vowing never to step foot in a pub named The White House ever again.
The cycle towards Ripponden was easy enough as it was mostly downhill. Still exhausted and hungry we looked for pubs that would hopefully keep us going. Fortunately for us we found the Old Bridge Inn, that served good food and who’s only downside was that the football was in. But we didn’t mind, we had been fed and that was all that matters. We pressed on into Yorkshire.
The rest of the trip down towards Halifax was singularly uneventful the big push just after Littleborough had been the worst of it and as we passed the beautiful village of Sowerby Bridge, the road started to threaten an incline once again. But this did not deter us. We knew we’d that the worse was behind us and pressed on.
In Leeds, on the way to Wetherby
As we reached Halifax we had a dilemma. The pain had kicked in before us a massive hill to get us on the slope towards Wyke. We passed the train station in Halifax and I knew that we all felt a secret wish to get on the train to continue our journey. I knew it we were on the home stretch though and we compromised, pushing our bikes up the hill and over to enjoy the down hill slopes that lay before us.
We passed into Leeds after a relaxing ride and after negotiating the horrendous one way system managed to meet the A58 on the other side. By now the road was called Wetherby Road and it was Wetherby that was our destination only twelve miles ahead of us. Gone now were the quaint little villages, but as a welcome site we enjoyed a plethora of convenience stores and newsagents that we could legitimately buy energy drinks from. Pressing on we had a few worrying moments with Ninja bus drivers sneaking up on us, but before long, we had reached our goal.
Wetherby at last!
It was getting dark as we reached the end of the A58 and I was utterly exhausted. We’d travelled 83.9 miles and it had taken us a little over 11 hours from start to finish. We raised £80.00 for the Alzheimer’s Society and whilst that didn’t come close to our £210 for cycling to Tann Hill, it was certainly money they would not have got if we didn’t attempt the challenge.
Sadly unlike the previous cycling challenges there was no well deserved pint to be had. We pressed on towards the seven miles Harrogate Railway Station and aching, and tired we board a train back to Leeds to visit my parents. It had been dark for a couple of hours by the time we reached our final destination and after several helpings of an appreciated Chilli we settled down, battered and bruised for an very well deserved night’s rest.
