78. Adopt a worm
I’m not really a fan of worms. Don’t get me wrong, I can happily argue until you are blue about the virtues of the humble worm and the sterling work that they do in maintaining the ecosystem. Furthermore I can vividly recall a rather fetching diorama that I produced back in my fledgling years at primary school that informed anybody and everybody who saw it that the worm was “OUR FRIEND” and also “A FRIEND TO NATURE”. In addition to that, as a Yorkshireman I am obligated to respect the worm as it can be found referenced many a time in our national anthem.
Beautiful. Beautiful man. Anyway, where was I? Worms? right.
Despite all these things, It’s just, I don’t know. Essentially:
Worms are a bit too icky for my liking.
So for the past few decades I’m managed to get along without interfering with the everyday lives of worms. I don’t bother them, they don’t bother me. It’s as simple as that. Therefore the idea of me adopting a worm, filled me with a stomach turning dread. Do I have to have it in the house? I seemed to recall American television while I grew up showing Worm Farms that you could buy to care for your worm in. This would essentially mean that I would have a foot of dirt, plastered between two pieces of glass somewhere in my house with a worm wriggling though it. Now ignoring my aforementioned belief that worms are a bit icky, doesn’t that seem cruel to you? A small amount of dirt, squeezed between two pieces of glass?
No, there had to be another way.
Fortunately Gina came to my rescue with the following suggestion. I could adopt somebody else’s worm! Essentially I could pay for the upkeep of a worm to ensure it continues in it’s wormy ways and to maintain it in the lifestyle that it has grown accustomed to. I’m not exactly sure what lifestyle a worm is accustomed to, but I’m happy not to press the point if it means not having a real life dirt and worm sandwich in my house. Gina even furnished me with a direction to look in for my worm adoption.
This small child obviously doesn't think worms are icky! Poor deluded child
Now they had an Adopt a Worm drive in 2011, but have not had one in 2012, but I’ve checked the website and they still have a wormery, so it looks like they still need our help. According to the site ”We’ve got hundreds of hard-working worms in our gardens waiting for you to make them feel loved. It’s so easy to adopt one (or hundreds) of nature’s unsung heroes this Valentine’s Day. Worms are the world’s hardest workers but we never tell them how much we care. Well now we can. You can sponsor a worm for just £5, a pregnant worm for £25, a wormery for £50 or a worm farmer (who need love too!) for £100.”
Now, ignoring the fact that the writer of the above quoter more than very likely certifiable and focusing on the charm they obviously possess, this means I need to donate a £5 to the charity to ensure a worm in their wormery is adopted and looked after. I go to their Local Giving Website and make the necessary payments, click Gift Aid and ensure that on the donation form that my money goes towards the adoption of a worm.
In short order I get the following mesage:
Dear Mikey,
Thank you very much for your donation on Localgiving.com!
Your contribution will make a real difference to Global Generation. We hope you’ll share a link to Localgiving.com with your friends and neighbours so they can see how donations like yours help local charities to grow.
Many thanks,
The Localgiving.com Team
Awww, I’ve adopted a worm. I have asked Global Generations if my worm can be called Neville.
I wonder if I get visitation rights.
